It's easy to be at a loss for words when you first try to text your ex back after a breakup. You take your cell phone out, but then something transpires. Your mind begins to stray and you worry about all the lousy things that can happen if you send the wrong text message.
Thoughts that burst into your mind include things like:
1. If I text my ex the wrong message will it frighten him or her away for good?
2. Should I say I'm sorry and try to make up for all the things I did wrong in the relationship?
3. Should I just type "Hi"?
4. Am I going to be extremely sad and disheartened if I send a text message and my ex doesn't respond?
5. Am I giving in too easily by texting them? Should I make them miss me more?
6. Will my ex think I'm needy if I send them a text message?
And a ton of other undesirable thoughts that paralyze you like a deer in headlights...
You start to feel desperate and miserable. You begin to feel like you'll never know what to say to get your ex to take you back. You feel all alone and paralyzed.
If this has ever happened to you, don't be concerned. Let's take away a lot of the confusion and take a closer look at the correct way to craft a first text to your ex. Once you know how you'll be a lot more confident about using text messages to help you reconnect with your ex.
There are some critical considerations you need to bear in mind before you try to text your ex back. A lot of thought needs to go into your first text. It's that important and it paves the way for opening your ex to the idea of being with you again.
There's a right way to text your ex and an incorrect way. Here are some hints to ensure you're giving yourself the best chance of getting back together.
These five ideas will assist you as you go about texting your ex for the first time after a breakup:
1. You have time. Don't rush it.
Many relationship experts recommend a no contact period of 3 to 4 weeks after a breakup, and texting is no different. Make sure being with your ex again is actually what you want. It's normal to feel miserable and lonely after a split up, but that's not a very good reason to get back together with someone who isn't the one person you can't live without.
2. Now is not the time to mention the previous relationship.
Past problems in the relationship need to be addressed, but this should be set aside for when you are on better terms with your ex. At this moment in time they need to see and remember all the favorable things about you they love.
3. Avoid explaining to your ex all the reasons they should start dating you again.
The past relationship is dead. You want to open your ex to the possibility of being in a new, more awesome relationship with you.
4. You don't NEED a reply.
Not getting a reply to your first few text messages is not out of the ordinary. You'll vastly improve your chances of getting your ex back if you don't make them feel pushed to send you something in return.
5. Send text messages with an objective.
What do you want from your ex? What are you trying to achieve by each text you send? It's important to have a goal in mind before you try to text your ex back. According to Michael Fiore, the author of Text Your Ex Back, you need to stay away from "nothing texts".
A Bit More On Nothing Texts
As Michael puts it, a nothing text is" ... a text that doesn't actually SAY anything and doesn't leave any "hooks" for positive interaction." These are text messages such as "Hey" or "How's it going?" (chances are you have already sent several of these). Read more text your ex back review here.
While there's no guarantee you can text your ex back, sending tiny texts from your cellular phone can make a substantial difference in your relationship when done in the right way.