It's not unusual to be at a loss for words when you first try to text your ex back after a breakup. You grab your phone out, but then something occurs. Your brain begins to roam and you stress about all the awful things that can happen if you send the wrong text message.
A thousand ideas start to swirl around in the crevices of your brain. Ideas like:
1. If I text my ex the wrong message will it scare him or her away for good?
2. Do I need to apologize for the things I did wrong in the relationship?
3. Can I still screw things up if I just say something as straightforward as "Hello"?
4. If my ex doesn't respond will it make me a lot more anxious and disappointed?
5. Am I giving in too quickly by sending them a text message? Should I force them to miss me more?
6. I don't want to come across as desperate or obsessive. How can I formulate a message that won't make me appear like that?
And your mind continues to produce doubt after doubt...
Pretty soon you feel paralyzed and you just stay there holding your cellphone in your grip, not knowing what to do or say.
This happens to a lot of people after a separation. Right now I'm going to share some tips with you about sending those all important first texts to help you get back together wtih your ex.
If you want to text your ex back, then it's important to have a clear understanding of what you want to achieve. The first text may be the most important as it sets the stage for everything else to come.
Your texts can help you reconnect with your ex or they can make your ex scamper for the hills...and never return.
Always keep these five concepts in mind as you craft every single one of your text messages to your ex:
1. Don't text your ex too quickly.
Let things cool down after your split up. Don't make contact with your ex at all for about 3-4 weeks. During this time consider what went wrong in the relationship and consider if you honestly want your ex back or if you're just having a weak emotional moment because you're scared to be by yourself.
2. Don't write about the split.
There will be time later to work everything out, but right now your signifcant other needs to recall the reasons they got together with you in the first place, not all the reasons the relationship terminated.
3. Don't become needy and start begging your ex to get back together.
The old relationship is over and never coming back. You want to open your significant other to the possibility of being in a new, better relationship with you.
4. Don't give up if your ex doesn't reply.
Don't count on your ex to reply to your first few text messages and don't get discouraged if they go silent. You'll significantly improve your chances of getting your ex back if you don't make them feel cornered to send you something in return.
5. Don't send texts for no real reason. Only send text messages with a plan in mind.
Think about each and every text you send before you send it. In his ebook Text Your Ex Back, Michael Fiore explains "nothing texts" and why you should stay away from them. Keep reading to find out more about what these are.
A Bit More On Nothing Texts
As Michael puts it, a nothing text is" ... a text that doesn't actually SAY anything and doesn't leave any "hooks" for positive interaction." These are texts such as "Hey" or "How's it going?" (that's right, the types of text messages you're probably already sending). Read more text your ex back review here.
The above ideas should help you text your ex back. Give it time and find out what happens.